How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when in your heart you begin to understand that there is no going back?” Though I would like to take credit for these words, they are not mine. They belong to the Hobbit Frodo, who, after returning home after a most amazing adventure, realizes that his life will never be the same. Though we did not battle Orks, nor conquer Mount Doom or even come close to Mordor, we do understand his lament. We have come home to the most wonderful family but do not have a home or jobs. We have looked at condos, houses and mobile homes. We have considered ownership and rental. We have signed up on Linkedin and Indeed and sent out our resumes. We are doing all the things that need to be done.
Yet, we feel that there is a bigger picture that at the moment is just out of our reach. Surely this past year cannot be just be about a vacation. It has to mean something. Perhaps it is the first year of the the rest of our lives. Searching, always searching….
We have always been taught that the key to success is goal setting. My goals are to continue writing daily and to spend more time with my Mom. I have had a couple of pieces published in the local Russell and Pine Falls papers. I continue to submit articles to local papers and contact others. Some are quite interested, others, not so much. Unfortunately, none of them pay (though I might get a free meal or two from my Mom!!) Are these goals too small? The big goal is to write a book and make a million dollars. Is that goal too big? Or is it just a dream? I think that I read once that goals are dreams with a timeline. So, I set a timeline. Stay focused. In the meantime, winter is coming and we need a home.
Isn’t it funny how you can travel for a year, being vagabonds, moving from place to place, yet once back in a familiar setting the need for permanent roots becomes so strong. We search for a firm footing, a place to call our own even as the ground beneath us continues to shift. We must move forward. We must keep living. We must keep dreaming. We must. There is no going back.